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Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality. C. J. Jung More JokesMore Jokes Funny JokesMore Jokes Jokes | Home > Fun & Humor > Joke Subjects > More Jokes
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Why did the ant-elope ?
Nobody gnu !
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Why don't anteaters get sick ?
Because they are
full of antibodies!
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Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
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A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see
his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at
night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the
problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find
it."
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Two accountants are in a bank, when armed
robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the
tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up
against
a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is
going on accountant number one jams something in
accountant number
two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two
whispers, "What
is this?" to which accountant number one replies,
"it's that $50 I
owe you."
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An accountant visited the Natural History
museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor:
"This
dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did
you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and
the guide told me that the dinosaur is
two billion years old."
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Why is it that when you transport
something by car, it's called
ship-ment but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
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Can you repeat the part after "Listen
very
carefully"?
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Why do you need a driver's licence to
buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?
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Do steam rollers really roll
steam?
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What will fall on the lawn first? An
autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?
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Q: What goes VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a
flashing red light.
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What does an aardvark keep in his
aquarium?
An aard-shark!
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Who loves
hamburgers, French fries, and
ants?
Ronald MacAardvark!
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What is the difference between an aardvark and
a coyote?
One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!
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What does the aardvark call his
dog?
Aard-bark!
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What is uglier than an aardvark?
Two
aardvarks!
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