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George Carlin English Quotations Free
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Quotations By George Carlin
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight They never mention that part to
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, some
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Weather forecast for tonight dark.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
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Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I?m just not close enough to get the job done."
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Keep thy religion to thyself.
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Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
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