Groucho Marx Free English Quotations Groucho Marx

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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx

Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

Go, and never darken my towels again.
Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx

Go, and never darken my towels again.
Groucho Marx

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx

If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.
Groucho Marx

I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx

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